{"id":370,"date":"2011-09-05T05:20:58","date_gmt":"2011-09-05T10:20:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.aguidetoselfsabotage.com\/?p=370"},"modified":"2011-09-03T11:23:11","modified_gmt":"2011-09-03T16:23:11","slug":"online-dating-letter-35","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.aguidetoselfsabotage.com\/2011\/09\/05\/online-dating-letter-35\/","title":{"rendered":"online dating letter #35"},"content":{"rendered":"

She wanted someone who was gorgeous, but not too attractive.<\/em><\/p>\n

Hi,<\/p>\n

I’m gorgeous yet not too attractive. I think it has something to do with half of my body being made out of cups of dirt. From the right angle I look good, but when I turn… cups of dirt.<\/p>\n

I don’t need a crochet t-shirt, but you could make one for my grandfather. You two have probably shared a huff or two of glue while placing dollar bets on “Combat Boots” and “Thin Ankles, Thick Legs, How Does a Horse Stand?”. He’s a nice man but smells of violent decay. I put up with him because I’ve been living off of his Social Security checks for years. And his couch. I think it’s a couch. Are couches meant to be crunchy?<\/p>\n

Why do you eat chocolate out of your underwear?<\/p>\n

Cheers<\/p>\n

I wouldn’t have responded either. Frankly, I’m surprised she didn’t alert the authorities after receiving this message.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

She wanted someone who was gorgeous, but not too attractive. Hi, I’m gorgeous yet not too attractive. I think it has something to do with half of my body being made out of cups of dirt. From the right angle I look good, but when I turn… cups of dirt. I don’t need a crochet […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nonline dating letter #35 - OKStupid<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.aguidetoselfsabotage.com\/2011\/09\/05\/online-dating-letter-35\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"online dating letter #35 - OKStupid\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"She wanted someone who was gorgeous, but not too attractive. Hi, I’m gorgeous yet not too attractive. I think it has something to do with half of my body being made out of cups of dirt. 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