We were a 95% match according to some undisclosed algorithm. Hi, I imagine it would take some time for the 5% enemy portion of our match come to light, but I think found it: roasted brussel sprouts. That’s what Meatloaf was singing about when he said he’d do anything, but that. The that was eat […]
We’re not going to lie to you. When this graph was slipped under our door we immediately loaded the shotgun and killed the lights. The math department has gone non compos mentis. It started last week when they began huffing dry erase markers. All of them, the PHD’s, the dorks and the interns were covered […]
After interviewing close to no people at all OK Stupid has compiled a list of the top 5 warning signs in online dating profiles. Drumroll, without further ado, the winners are, after these messages… “Know the difference between your and you’re” Translations: I want to be beaten. Relax. It’s an online dating site. Most people […]
Her profile suggested that it was best if she was not messaged. Hurricane Irene was turning news anchors into a frothy mix of used diapers and 12 year old girls chasing the Jonas Brothers. I panicked. Hi, You’re right. I probably shouldn’t message you, but I’ve got time to kill before the looting and floods […]
I’ve read this letter a dozen times. Nothing about the girl I messaged strikes a chord. I assume she wanted to play the violin. Hi, I’m really good at laughing while I sleep. It drives people crazy, but that just makes it more fun. I can give you violin lessons. They wouldn’t be any good, […]