She contacted me first. Said that I was funny then a bug flew into her cheek. On her profile she wrote that she is an open book with a page missing. Hi, We’d get along great. Then I’d make an inappropriate joke (inappropriate jokes are a myth like gravity. It’s not an invisible force that […]

She was convinced that she could perform medical operations because she watches a lot of ER. Hi, I am beyond mockable. Mockable? Yes, nothing about me is less than perfect except for those things that you’ll ignore. I know the difference between your and you’re and yugoslavia. It’s (Or is it its? What is it? This is […]

I knew she lived too far away to make it work, but it’s the Internet. Hi, Being afraid of heights is a good thing. I’m afraid of them too. To deal with this I strapped myself to a German man and ran off a cliff. I expected gravity to take over but a hang glider […]

This message highlighted that I am worldly and care about small animals. Hi, Why are all dogs in Havana dressed in button down shirts? I noticed this when I was there about 12 years ago. On every corner was a tiny dog wearing a freshly pressed shirt. When I line up to take a picture the dogs would shift […]

Sometimes, well most times, I have the need to just, well, on with it. Hi, The zombie apocalypse is here. If you’re still new to NY you might not have seen them. Get on any subway during the morning commute. Happier faces were seen on the train to Auschwitz. Thankfully these zombies don’t want to […]