We were a 95% match according to some undisclosed algorithm. Hi, I imagine it would take some time for the 5% enemy portion of our match come to light, but I think found it: roasted brussel sprouts. That’s what Meatloaf was singing about when he said he’d do anything, but that. The that was eat […]

Her profile suggested that it was best if she was not messaged. Hurricane Irene was turning news anchors into a frothy mix of used diapers and 12 year old girls chasing the Jonas Brothers. I panicked. Hi, You’re right. I probably shouldn’t message you, but I’ve got time to kill before the looting and floods […]

I’ve read this letter a dozen times. Nothing about the girl I messaged strikes a chord. I assume she wanted to play the violin. Hi, I’m really good at laughing while I sleep. It drives people crazy, but that just makes it more fun. I can give you violin lessons. They wouldn’t be any good, […]

My drummer friend told me to not go out with her. Hi, I have a lot of questions.First, do you drink wine with gummy bears in the drink or are they to the side? Does the vintage matter? Do the colors of the gummy bears need to complement the wine? Second, while I can understand […]

I had to dig this one out of the archives but here is the real first online dating letter I sent. She had a blurry picture of her holding a violin.  how does this work?Aug 23 – 11:36pm Hello, I know the “right” way is not to start with “hello” but “how’s it going”. That […]