She spends a lot of time thinking about becoming a vegetarian and her favorite book is the OED. Hi, Don’t do it. Don’t become one of those people, a vegetarian. They are an unruly, self-righteous lot. I know. I tried the vegetarian thing once. It lasted ten years. The crackling, greasy pop of bacon broke […]

She was looking for a bad ass/gentleman. Her main selling point was that she could choose the best oranges with her eyes closed. Hi, I have a degree in badassery. It’s truly amazing what the American educational system will let you get away with these days. So yes I am a badass and a scholar. […]

Another lady that the Internet thought I wouldn’t get along with. Hi, The Internet doesn’t think we’d get along that well, but screw the Internet. She is a harsh mistress that needs to be proven wrong. How could we not get along? I never plan a meal in advance. I prefer to let random chance […]

She wrote that she loved to travel to little motels and have them recommend coffee shops. Hi, I once loved in a dreadful little motel. It was the type of place that was frequented by those just released from prison. When I went to check in, the proprietor, a man that resembled a crushed cigarette butt, asked […]

The letter I sent speaks for itself. Hi, By “breathing the heck out fo some air” do you mean to say that you are asthmatic or that you have the lung capacity of ? In other news… I think you’ve stumbled on a new business venture – the wine bar and cupcake shop with picnic […]