She felt it was important to highlight her credentials in the field of picnicking. I felt it was important to highlight my skills in jerkery. It could be a word. Hi, “lol” should only be used if you are actually laughing out loud and you’re a six year old covered in glitter. What exactly is […]

This profile was written by someone coming off of hallucinogens. Or the author was dropped too many times on the head. Oddly, I actually hoped for a response. I have issues. Hello. I find your nonsense exhilarating. While most of it was a confusing swirl of something swirling that swirls in a counter-clock-wise direction (everyone […]

This following is an introduction letter I sent to a woman on a popular dating site. She mentioned in her profile that she did not want to be contacted by anyone on the National Registry of Sex Offenders. Hi, Maybe one day I can make the National Registry. For now I’ll just settle for the […]

This following is an introduction letter I sent to a woman on a popular dating site. She wondered what Jesus would be like as a friend. Hi, I think for fun Jesus was a prankster. We know about water into wine, but have you heard the one about wine into ketchup? For some reason they […]