Hi there. You’ve studied the OK Stupid site, crafted the perfect message and landed a date. Ear hairs are plucked, and your body is perfumed in a bath of chemical companies such as Fragrance and Urea. Date time arrives and your online suitor is not quite what you expected.

Here are the top 5 ways to get out of a bad date.

1. Just leave
   Man up, woman up, human up and accept that it’s not going to work. His/her photos were of a famous celebrity from the 1980s and a friend wrote those words that made your hear go pitter patter. Life is short, leave.
2. Fake a phone call
   Not tough enough to just leave? You sissy. Fine fake a phone call. “Sorry, got to take this. I’m a surgeon and on call. Oh no, I have to operate stat.” Say stat. No one knows what it is so it sounds cool.
3. Have a friend call/or text
   Acting chops not up to snuff for the fake call? Plan to have a friend call or text you 15 minutes into the date. Then again if you answer your phone or send a text during a first date you are probably a horrible person and your date should pull a number 1.
4. Be creepy, extra creepy
   This option is gross. Stare in your dates eyes. No, I mean really stare. Stare like your trying to count how many eye floaties they have. If you take this approach you should probably be on a watch list. What the hell is wrong with you?
5. Fuck it, just keep drinking
   How bad could the date be? Really? You met in a bar, right? Good. Throw away your chip from AA and pound back a few. Use some social lube to possibly get some.

That’s the OK Stupid top 5 ways to get out of a bad date. Got other suggestions? Write in and let us know your ways to get out of a bad date.